The Gurus of What's In Wonder if They're Out of Touch
   —New York Times headline, November 6, 2004

Our media elites and their coastal comrades need help. It has finally started to dawn on them that they don't understand the average citizen of Middle America. So I am volunteering to teach them about this exotic species, popularly known as the Average Joe. 

I consider myself to be an Average Joe.  Many will ask what that means, and most of them will think that they are not 'Average Joes.'  An Average Joe can be male or female, so let's not start this off with anyone thinking that this essay is gender biased. Average Joedom is purely a state of mind and a way of being.

I am in my mid thirties, a little overweight, balding, married with 2 kids, and Caucasian.  I work for a living and I make a modest living.  I live in my own home, drive a large SUV, own a dog and a cat, and I work a full time job.  I know my neighbors and would do anything I can to help them.  I like to hunt, fish, and ride motorcycles without a helmet.  I like to smoke cigars in public and I think that it is my right to do so.  I am a Christian, who was raised by a father and a mother.  I am a military veteran and I am college educated.  I was a Police Officer, a Firefighter, and I now work in the private sector.

I think that I see things as an Average Joe would.  I consider myself well—read and up to date on most things concerning current events.  I no longer watch broadcast network news, choosing to get my information from alternate sources.  I hate when the elites in the media assume that the Average Joe is an idiot, needing to be told how to think and act.  I am quite capable of making up my own mind — just report the facts, and give both sides of the story.  Based on my 'Average' existence, here is what my take on what the Average Joe believes.

The Average Joe is a guy who prioritizes his life.  The order of importance is as follows:  God, Country, and Family.  It's that simple. However I will go into detail about each of these by taking the secular approach, so that any leftist who reads this article cannot dismiss the whole essay because of the fact that the Almighty was mentioned, lambasting my writing as the ramblings of a religious zealot. 

The reference to God is from a belief learned from life and family.  It is the basis of the way the Average Joe lives his life.  He does not cheat, lie, or steal.  He believes that there is a higher power, but does not push his belief on others, and he would appreciate it if those that disagree with him would keep their opinions to themselves.  To him life begins at conception and that life is sacred.  He believes in the death penalty and the old adage, 'if you do the crime, you do the time.'  He believes that the 10 Commandments are God's law, not another ACLU lawsuit or a political football.  When he says he believes in God, there are no buts following that statement, since he doesn't need to avoid offending constituents or friends. 

He conducts his life in the most honorable way, and feels guilty when he does wrong.  He believes that marriage is between a man and a woman, and that homosexual activity is a sin.  He also believes that homosexuals have the right to live their own way, but that he shouldn't be forced by legislation to affirm it.  To him, Mel Gibson is a hero for standing up for his principles against the secular establishment that is the movie industry.  Likewise, our current president is also a hero, for taking the fight to the enemy that would see us dead for our beliefs.

Our country is the second most important thing in Average Joe's life.  When he sees the flag, or hears the National Anthem (The Star Spangled Banner for you leftists), his heart wells up with pride.  He loves his country, and will defend our way of life to the death.  He will work everyday to pay his 'fair' share of taxes and doesn't think that the rich should pay a  drastically higher rate of tax, because the rich guy generally pays his salary.  Average Joe sees the flag as a symbol to be revered, not burned.  He knows that he owes a debt of gratitude to those who fought and died for that flag, so that the leftists can burn it.  He gets angry when he sees those leftists burning the flag because it's their right, and wishes it were his right to kick their butts, even though he knows it isn't. The heart wants what it wants.

When the towers fell on September 11, 2001, he was filled with sadness, but anger was the emotion that quickly took over.  His gut instinct was to turn the Middle East into a sheet of glass. Even though he knew calmer heads would prevail. He took pride in his president's courage in the face of such adversity, and took solace in the fact that George Bush prayed to the same God that he did.  He believes that democracy is the best form of government and our liberty is a gift from the Almighty.  He knows that the Founding Fathers were Christians and that their beliefs were the basis for the Constitution and our form of government.  It angers him when a presidential candidate speaks about being religious, but his life history is filled with deeds (and votes) that makes that speech nothing but empty rhetoric.

His family is what Average Joe fights for everyday.  He loves and honors his wife, and only his wife.  His eyes may wander, but his feet beat a path home.  He loves his children more than life itself and he would do anything to keep them safe.  He understands that God exists every time he looks at them, and if he was lucky enough to see them born, he understands the meaning of unconditional love...God's love.  Children are the greatest responsibility he has, and the rest of his life is spent protecting them.  He knows that a child is not a toy or a child support payment.  He truly wants his children to be better than he when they grow up, and he gives them the tools to succeed.  He realizes that jobs and friends come and go, but family is there forever.  The family has its faults, but they are family nonetheless, and deserve his love and respect.  He knows that he learned to be a man from his father, and compassion from his mother.  He loves them both and as he ages, he turns into them.

Joe looks at the recent election as one of the most important in our nation's history.  He knows that the very soul of the United States and the future of our Constitution were at stake.  The choice was simple to Joe and he can not understand why things were as close in the polls as they were.  But he also knows that the media were hoping that, with their assistance, their candidate would have prevailed. He knows that the coverage was biased, and he has difficulty understanding why there is so much hatred toward President Bush. 

He truly likes and respects his president, and saw the challenger as a true politician who has never held a real job.  He saw John Kerry as a pseudo Vietnam Veteran, and a coward who committed treason for his own political gain.  He thought that John Kerry was the picture of hypocrisy, having earned his leftist wings being critical of his government and the real veterans of the Vietnam War, while using his service as the reason you should have elected him president.  Joe realizes that the Swift Boat Vets are real American heroes, and that a Congressional Medal of Honor recipient is to be believed before a four month veteran with fraudulent medals is.  He thinks that if Kerry ever did become President, it would be ironic that he would have to salute the same CMH recipient that he accused of being a war criminal so many years ago.  He believes that all veterans should be revered for their service everyday, not just on Veterans Day, and that their service should not be the domain of a presidential candidate that has stood against them in the Senate for the last 20 or so years and most of his adult life.

The common misconception about Joe is that he is stupid.  Because Joe is from the South or the Midwest (or rural American anywhere), he is considered unable to make sound judgments when it comes to living his life.  When he went to college, he realized that he was not in agreement with most of his left wing professors, and that his faith in God kept him sane while dealing with them.  He must have been intelligent enough to see through the fog that is liberalism.  Joe realizes that his way of life is under attack by the same leftists that think he is ignorant.  It must really frustrate them that Joe manages to be successful in spite of their attempts to hold him back. Joe lives by something that escapes the left and that something is common sense.

Joe realizes that coffee is hot, and if spilled on your crotch while driving, that it is going to burn you.  He doesn't need to be told this or prevented from buying hot coffee because he is too stupid to take precautions.  Joe knows that smoking is bad for him, but it is not anyone's business if he chooses to smoke. He knows that a loaded weapon is not dangerous if not pointed at you.  It becomes dangerous if it is in the hands of a criminal intent upon firing it at you.  He knows that his guns are locked up, his children know how to use them, and they do not have access to them.  They are taught that they are dangerous, not props in a rap video, and that they require responsibility to own and use. 

The war in Iraq is a cause that Joe believes in.  He realizes that it was a necessary thing to do.  Joe knows that the Middle East is the biggest source of the enemies of this country, but also realizes that there are others who wish to do us harm.  He knows that Saddam Hussein paid the families of Palestinian terrorists who blew themselves up, killing innocent women and children in Israel.  He realizes that we support Israel because it is the only democracy in the Middle East, never mind that forsaking them will mean the end of Christianity.  Joe thinks that George Bush and his administration are absolute geniuses for taking down Saddam Hussein.  Not only did he topple a tyrannical dictator, but he parked the most powerful military force smack dab in the middle of the desert, within striking distance of some of the other members of the axis of evil.  Bush is planting the seeds of Democracy and has scared one of the other evil dictatorial Islamic regimes into giving up their nuclear weapons out of fear of losing their power.

Joe is a simple man who just wants to see his family safe and his freedom preserved.  He wants the Constitution as written to remain the law of the land and to keep those who would destroy it in check.  He believes that George Bush is right for this country, and that the alternative will be the beginning of the end of our way of life.  Joe is glad that people educated themselves and voted with their minds November 2nd  and thought about their families and friends while placing said vote.  Please don't forget that we were attacked, and that John Kerry would have thrown words at our enemies instead of ordnance, so that his French buddies could have become richer off of the oppression and suffering of the Iraqi people.

Our elite media just doesn't seem to get it.  Their minds are fogged by their perceived importance and their unwavering belief that they are right and that the American people need to be told what to think, for they are not capable of intellectual reasoning.  They were probably right that John Kerry got a 10 to 15% bump from their favorable coverage of his campaign.  Had they been objective, Dubya would have won by a landslide.  

They cannot even concede that President Bush won because of who he is and how he leads us, instead claiming that it was a strategic victory orchestrated by Karl Rove.  Mr. Rove simply ensured that the people came out to vote; he certainly did not have to give away cigarettes or crack cocaine, or tell them to 'vote or die' in an effort to get his message across.  He simply used the opposition's rhetoric, voting record, and positions on issues to highlight what they stood for, allowing the voters to make up their own minds.  Of course he didn't do it alone.  Ed Gillespie and Marc Racicot rallied the countless numbers of volunteers to assist in the effort.  They are to be held up as patriots for standing at the crossroads of the future and showing that right was the logical direction to turn.  Nice work