Following the remarkable victory in virtually every important respect by Republicans Tuesday night, many of the people I've talked to on the right are now saying that it's time to show liberals how conservatives win an election... by being forgiving and gracious in victory. We need unity now, they claim, and it's up to us to set the example for others to follow in the future.

Sounds nice, doesn't it? All warm and fuzzy... soft and sweet. I'm quite certain that the folks who feel that way have made their mothers very proud. I mean, with that sort of attitude, one would probably have a good chance of being crowned Miss Congeniality in any major beauty pageant in the country. Unfortunately, right now we're not dealing with a panel of frivolous contest judges, who are just as concerned with our pretty smiles and cheerful dispositions as they are with our political beliefs.

No, we are dealing with the same vicious creeps we've had to contend with since long before Dubya became president the first time around. And if you think that turning the other cheek at this stage in the game is going to win the hearts and minds of even a handful of these people, you clearly haven't been paying a lot of attention to them over the years.

I don't know about any other member of the "vast right—wing conspiracy," but I have no intention of being gracious or forgiving toward the habitual whiners, terrorist appeasers, and Communist sympathizers who have mocked our president, degraded the efforts of our troops, and perverted the truth about practically everything from the economy to the war since the day Howard Dean became the presumptive presidential front runner of the Democratic party.

Ah, but it's the moderates we are trying to impress with our class and calm demeanors, some right—wingers assert. We need to make sure that everyone who might possibly side with us in the future doesn't get turned off to our causes because we've behaved like a bunch of meanies toward all those poor, unfortunate liberals out there. Can't we all just
*sniff* get along?

Well excuse the heck out of me. If you want to concern yourself primarily with how you assume the moderate middle in this country feels, so be it. You have every right to do so.

It's not that I have something against moderates. As a matter of fact, most of my friends are moderates, and I happen to think that there's a whole lot more of them out there than most conservatives are willing to admit to.

That having been said, any moderate who would necessarily side with a leftist over me during an ideological fight, simply because I don't feel compelled to sit around and wait for my enemies to regroup and then kick the stuffing out of me later, isn't someone I want hanging around to begin with. You see, there's a serious difference between a political moderate and a total wussie, and why so many conservatives seem to be mistaking one for the other is beyond me.

As far as I can tell, a moderate is simply someone who's less conservative than I am, yet less liberal than most anyone you'd be likely to meet at a Hollywood after—party. Being in the middle doesn't make a person spineless, just as being on the right at this particular time in history doesn't make you bullet—proof.

And just in case you didn't know it, I'm here to tell you that being gracious in victory, while it may well be a truly honorable thing, is only called for when your opponents have exhibited the capacity to respond in that same spirit of good sportsmanship themselves throughout the competition. When they haven't, they can't get any in return.

As far as I'm concerned, we've finally got the liberal left on the ropes, and there's no better time than now to deliver the knock—out punch. You may believe that going out of your way to treat liberals with respect right now is the right thing to do, but please don't delude yourself into to thinking that, if the situation were reversed, they wouldn't do to us exactly what I am proposing we do to them.

If it were conservatism that suddenly found itself cornered and bloody, I can guarantee you that every liberal out there would be stepping up to take one more round—house swing at your head, and the concept of honor would be the last thing on their minds.

You say you want nice? Well I'm just as sorry as I can be, but right now, I'm all niced—out.

Edward L. Daley is the owner of the Daley Times—Post