Speaking on behalf of herself and her husband, Michelle Obama recently reassured a crowd of fawning conference attendees that "we're not gone.  We're just breathing."  That they are!  They're not gone, and what they're breathing...is fire! 

After spending months with celebrities on a Tahitian vacation, and resting up from almost a decade of wreaking holy havoc on America, in an attempt to counter the sitting president's policies, a revitalized Barack and Michelle are currently breathing fire in Trump's direction every chance they get.

Quite unlike the 43rd president, who remained silent while Barack spent eight years making excuses for his own inadequacies by blaming his predecessor for every failure, both Michelle's and Barry's knee jerk reaction to public rejection is to respond by portraying fiascoes as achievements.

Take, for example, wealth-sharing/pay equity/carbon footprint-concerned Obama taking his private jet and a 14-car gas-guzzling entourage to Milan to collect $3.2 million for speaking at a Seeds & Chips, aka Dirty Deeds & Lyin' Lips, Global Food Innovation summit.  While hubby was getting "free hugs" and stuffing his mom jeans with oodles of cash, less than six months after Trump's inauguration, Michelle was busy blowing off steam at an annual Partnership for a Healthier America conference.

Seems Mrs. Obama is infuriated with Donald Trump for daring to point out that The Healthy, Hunger-Free Kids Act, which masked government control as a nutritional concern, has resulted in wasted money, foul-tasting food, and 1.4 million kids dropping out of the school lunch program.

Trump's secretary of agriculture, Sonny Perdue, agrees it's time for change. 

Perdue said, "We all know that meals can't be nutritious if they aren't consumed and if they're put in the trash."  That's why Perdue is counteracting Michelle's Healthy Food Horror Show by giving school "food service professionals flexibility" in deciding what to serve the kids.

What a revolutionary concept!  Someone other than a government czarina gets to control the menu.

For one, some salt, which not only adds flavor, but also is now said to have no impact on blood pressure, will be added back into the menu.  In addition, school districts will also be issued whole wheat waivers, and children's brains can now benefit from the fat in low-fat chocolate milk.

In other words, the iron grip of Michelle Obama's no salt, fat-free lunch diktats will be off the necks of garroted school districts.  In turn, food will be made more palatable so that schoolchildren will want to eat lunch instead of scraping it into the garbage.

In response to the plan to do away with paltry portions of quinoa and salt-free rice cakes, Ms. "Fried Fat Cakes" has become visibly livid.

Michelle told the Obamas' personal White House chef and executive director of the anti-childhood obesity initiative, Sam Kass, that instead of swallowing the excrement Americans have been subjected to during the Obama years, with Trump in charge, kids will be "eating crap."

On a full-blown Healthier America conference tirade, a know-it-all Michelle appealed to women in the audience with false humility, saying, "Moms, think about this.  I don't care what state you live in, take me out of the equation, like me, don't like me, but think about why someone is OK with your kids eating crap."

This is a confusing statement coming from someone who supports a woman's "right to choose."  With that in mind, the big takeaway from Michelle's indignation is that choice is acceptable only if the one choosing doesn't feed a survivor of the womb a "crappy" bag of Doritos and a ham sandwich for lunch.

After indirectly suggesting that certain Americans "celebrate" policies that disregard the well-being of children, Michelle made another stunning statement.  All fired up, the former FLOTUS, who clearly misses determining how much we "eat, feed, and move," reprimanded the audience, saying, "You take your eye off the ball on things, and you let other people determine what you're eating, what you're feeding, how you're moving, and before you know it, your kids have Type II diabetes."

Further implying a Trump undercurrent of malfeasance, Mrs. Obama pressed the Healthier America audience to "look at motives."

For the purpose of federal bureaucratic control, Michelle, the queen of deceitful intentions, insisted on feeding schoolchildren cardboard, and she's the one accusing Donald Trump of ulterior motives?

Doing what she does best, which is telling people what to do and how to think, Michelle instructed the audience, "You have to stop and think, 'Why don't you want our kids to have good food at school?  What is wrong with you, and why is that a partisan issue?  Why would that be political?'"

Then the über-partisan, politically motivated Michelle, who likes to "splurge" on the very French fries and ice cream she now polices, proposed stricter control:

How about we stop asking kids how they feel about their food because kids, my kids included, if they could eat pizza and French fries every day with ice cream on top and a soda, they would think they were happy until they get sick.

Undoubtedly, a proponent of government gavage, a woman whose husband marginalized American preferences, then shared that she believes it's "ridiculous" to consider children's food preferences when deciding what to force-feed them for lunch. 

"You know what?" Michelle said.  "Kids don't like math, either.  What are we going to do?  Stop teaching math?"

Correct, most kids dislike math, but not as much as real American's dislike government overreach.  And that "not liking" is the very reason, Trump, the man the Obamas criticize, is now the president of the United States. 

So, after eight long years of government inflicting itself on individual liberty, whether Michelle Obama likes it or not, "we the people" want our children to experience a small taste of American freedom by eating more of whatever they want for lunch.

Jeannie hosts a blog at www.jeannie-ology.com.