In 2009, Hansjorg Wyss, the former CEO of Synthes, was indicted for directing “subordinates in executive management meetings to conduct illegal human drug trials.” Five people died. Four top executives went to prison. But not Hansjorg Wyss.

Billionaire? CEO? Big Pharma? One percent? Evil evil evil. But donate to progressive causes and all your sins are washed away. You see, Wyss has given hundreds of millions to liberal causes, including a pledge of $5 million to the “No Ceilings" project, “a Clinton Foundation initiative to inspire and advance the full participation of girls and women around the world.”

"Full participation." Ahem. As in, "Hey Monica, come into the Oval Office, I've got a little somethin’ for ya"?

Wyss has an affinity with the former president in other ways: he settled with Jackie Long, a former employee of the Wyss Foundation, for $1.5 million for sexual assault. Long was particularly offended by Wyss’s donation to the “No Ceilings” project.

Oh the unfairness of it all! Wyss is trying to help women; he just wants to advance their “full participation.”

By the way, should you feel inclined to help the Clintons in their quest for "the full participation of girls and women," there’s a prominent, red “Donate” box at the top of the webpage. If you miss that, next to it is a pulldown labeled "Ways to Give." You'll be delighted that it's open ended: there are five ways to expose your wallet, followed by "More Ways to Give" followed by “View all Ways to Give” in larger type. Hard to miss. And couldn’t be simpler.

Isn't it wonderful how this self-effacing couple empowers you to let them reach into your pocket? Especially when you consider how they pulled themselves up out of poverty: “We came out of the White House not only dead broke, but in debt … It was not easy. Bill has worked really hard. And it's been amazing to me. He's worked very hard."

I’ll say, Hillary, it’s been amazing to many of us. Almost brings a tear to my eye.

Henry Percy is the nom de guerre of a writer in Arizona. He may be reached at saler.50d[at]gmail.com.