Accused rapist affirms Hillary Clinton is 'honest and trustworthy'

Accused rapist Bill Clinton provided a character witness for his wife Hillary, saying she was honest and trustworthy.

Bill Clinton, who was accused by Juanita Broaddrick of biting her lip, forcing her down on a bed, and raping her, added:

“She’s still got the best friends that she had in grade school,” said Mr. Clinton[.]

Mr. Clinton, who was also accused of having raped a 19-year-old English woman named Eileen Wellstone, whom he met in a pub, added:

Someone who can make that boast about their friends is by “definition a trustworthy, reliable good person unless they had a toy theft gang going” as a child, Mr. Clinton said.

Mr. Clinton, whom his legal secretary Carolyn Moffet accused of trying to force her to orally stimulate his genitals, pointed out that Mrs. Clinton is part of a wholesome family:

Mr. Clinton said, citing the first birthday of his granddaughter, Charlotte, and his 40th wedding anniversary with Mrs. Clinton.

Mr. Clinton, who was accused by Paula Jones of trying to force her to fellate him, says that people are warming up to Mrs. Clinton:

Mr. Clinton said that “the American people in the last six weeks have learned a lot about Hillary — what she’s for, why she’s running, and what kind of president she’d be.” 

Mr. Clinton, who had Monica Lewinsky perform oral sex on him in the Oval Office underneath his desk while he talked on the phone with congressmen, described his enthusiastic correspondence with a supporter:

He said that he had received gushing emails from their friends praising her testimony. He wrote back, “I think I’ll vote for her.”

Mr. Clinton’s aides have long said that he does not use email.

Mr. Clinton, who Kathleen Willey said fondled her breasts and placed her hands on his genitals, is thought to be a good character reference for Mrs. Clinton, given his popularity with women and Mrs. Clinton's "wimmen wimmen wimmen" campaign focus.

This article was written by Ed Straker, senior writer of NewsMachete.com, the conservative news site.

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