You may be forgiven for thinking that Kevin McCarthy is not a funny guy.  Standing silently behind Boehner for all these years, you may have thought he was a cardboard cutout figure that Eric Cantor carried around with him to make Cantor look lifelike by comparison.  But no.  Kevin McCarthy is a really, really funny guy.

Just have a look at his email where he announces that he is running for speaker of the House

Friends. Our conference has been through a lot together.

That's true!  Fully funding Obama's illegal amnesty, Obamacare, Planned Parenthood, and more.

We are a part of the largest Republican majority since 1928. We have made real progress towards shrinking an overgrown federal government and reforming our broken entitlement system.

Real progress?  I think McCarthy is making an inside joke about the Cromnibus bill, which gave everything Obama wanted for spending in one bill so big, so massive, that virtually no one had time to read it before it passed.

But our work is far from done.

True!  They still have more than a year of Obama's agenda to support.  Why, next month they are going to vote to continue to subsidize the dissection and sale of baby parts.  So much left to do!

We can't ignore the differences that exist, but we can and must heal the divisions in our conference with work, time, and trust. That is why I have decided to run for speaker of the House and graciously ask for your support.

McCarthy wants to be a healer, a male version of Star Trek's Counselor Troi, who will look deeply into each member's eyes and bond with him.  At least until the leadership vote is over.

You all know me. We've spent late nights on the House floor together. I've visited your districts and met your families and constituents.

Wait a minute...what if the Godfather had said this?  Could this be some kind of subtle threat?

In short, I am guided by something Ronald Reagan once said: "The greatest leader is not necessarily the one who does the greatest things. He is the one that gets the people to do the greatest things."

Kevin McCarthy = Reagan!  Whenever he was asked to vote for budgets and continuing resolutions that funded Obamacare, abortions, and excessive EPA regulations, Kevin always stopped first to ask himself, "What would Reagan do?"

But I am also sensitive to what is happening outside of the Beltway[.]

Do you think McCarthy is more sensitive to what is happening outside of the Beltway than Eric Cantor was?

I want us to be much closer to the people we represent, and I want them to once again feel like this is their government, they are in charge, and we are here to serve them.

You know he's talking here about lobbyists, right?

If elected Speaker, I promise you that we will have the courage to lead the fight for our conservative principles and make our case to the American people. 

McCarthy will continue to fight for conservative principles.  For years McCarthy was a dandelion in the side of John Boehner as he silently fought the Boehner-Cantor-McCarthy agenda.

Over the past weekend, I reached out to every one of you to listen to your opinions and ask for your advice. I know that you ran for Congress to make a difference, to leave a better country for your kids and grandkids.

"Daddy, can I have some more debt?"

"Why sure, son, I'll be sure to leave a bunch not only for you, but for your kids, too!"

There are challenges ahead, but unified we have an amazing opportunity to make lasting conservative change. And I know when we work together under the banner of freedom and opportunity there is little that is out of our reach.

When he talks about little out of his reach, is he referring to taxpayer money?

You know something?  There's wooden like a tree or a log cabin, and then there's wooden like Kevin McCarthy.  And I predict that before long, he will get his own woodpecker named Obama.

This article was written by Ed Straker, senior writer of NewsMachete.com, the conservative news site.