Liberals have a love affair with illegal aliens.  Firstly, they came into being here through a criminal act, which appeals to liberal sensibilities.  Secondly, they reliably support Democrats (some of them vote illegally, and their children born here certainly do).  And third of all, they are helping to change the demographics of this country from largely white to Hispanic, which pleases liberals, who are usually self-hating whites, to no end.

In this light Noah Phillips, a rich liberal kid from D.C., decided to go slumming and get an entry-level job in a restaurant to see what life on the other side was like.

I attended the Edmund Burke School, one of Northwest Washington’s small private prep schools, where college acceptance rates were close to 100 percent, students called our teachers by their first names, and -- despite our de facto liberalism and the lip service we paid to the ideal of diversity -- we were mostly white and well-off. Most of our parents were left-leaning architects or journalists, federal employees or lawyers

I inclined away from the kind of internships or resume-building white-collar gigs that my peers were pursuing the summer after graduation. I wanted something physical, something working class... in Adams Morgan, a funky [homosexual], diverse neighborhood

He got a job at a falafel shop working the night shift, which pleased him because it seemed suitably gritty and working-class, but to his horror, he was made manager of the night shift, overseeing some Hispanic employees.  The article never said the Hispanics were illegal aliens, but since they didn't speak English, and citizens and even legal immigrants do, I'd call this 99% likely.

With no work experience and without actually depending on the job as a source of income, I had inadvertently jumped the managerial line in front of my much more experienced, Spanish-speaking immigrant co-workers. And it was me, the white kid with the prep-school background, who was trusted with the sensitive tasks of closing the register

This was a source of tremendous guilt for Phillips.  He was chosen for a managerial job over more experienced illegal aliens!

I had an easy advantage when it came to the desirable position of cashier: I spoke English.

Phillips is so racked with guilt that he doesn't see that he had this "English advantage" because he is a citizen.  He sees nothing wrong with his coworkers sneaking into the country and taking jobs away from Americans, and nothing wrong with their failing to learn English.  What he does feel is a sense of guilt for being favored since he speaks English.

Still, he was on good terms with the illegals, though he was unsuccessful in convincing them of the pleasures of gay anal sex.

“I just don’t get how they could do that,” David [an illegal alien coworker] said.

This is the liberal mindset.  The illegals are virtuous, and Americans are the criminals.  Whatever would we do without liberals?  Probably quite a lot.

This article was produced by NewsMachete.com, the conservative news site.