That would be Elizabeth Warren, junior senator from Massachusetts, for the presidency of these United States, “a fighter for working people and a champion for the middle class.” You can sign the petition at Moveon.org, “Democracy in Action®” (yes, the power-to-the-people folks at Moveon.org have actually registered that catchy slogan with the U.S. Copyright Office).

Let's see, who were some of those “working people” that Sen. Warren worked for when she was not instructing “the children” at Harvard Law? She won’t enumerate her clients, but some of the names can be found here and here:

• Dow Corning
• National Gypsum Trust
• Fuller Austin trust
• Fairchild Aviation
• Piper Aircraft
• Cajun Electric
• Travelers Insurance

Reeks of corporatism, no? Calling Occupy Wall Street. Her defense of her work for Dow Corning is especially touching. If you will recall, Dow Corning sought bankruptcy protection because of problems with the silicone breast implants it manufactured. “She suggested during a press conference that she had advised the company in setting up a trust” for the victims. In other words, she was looking out for the interests of the plaintiffs, who were -- women. Yes, this was a women’s issue.

There are many things wrong with this explanation, as William A. Jacobson of Legal Insurrection details, but to take just one of them, she had an ethical and legal obligation not to support the plaintiffs’ interests, because she was not being paid by them, she was paid by Dow Corning.

Sen. Warren is a tireless advocate for the children (well, actually, college-age children, who are better constituents than the younger sort inasmuch as they can vote). “We believe that a kid should have a chance to go to college without being crushed by debt” (at 2:45). This from the populist who, in her last year at Harvard, earned $350,000 from the university for teaching one class. One class. That alone put her in the One Percent. Where are the OWS activists when we need them?

But that was only part of her earnings, for she also received “nearly $200,000 in royalties and consulting fees she earned while taking a leave from her academic job to help found President Obama’s Consumer Financial Protection Bureau.” In addition, her work for corporate clients brought in $675 per hour. Not bad for “a fighter for working people and a champion for the middle class.” It wouldn’t occur to the senator that professors like her are a large component of the spiraling costs of higher education.

There are so many anomalies in Sen. Warren’s curriculum vitae. For example, she practiced law while living in Massachusetts without being admitted to the Massachusetts bar. How is that even ethical, much less legal? And then there’s her claim that her mother and Aunt Bea were Cherokee and/or Delaware (her stories were fluid). Proof? They lived in Oklahoma, and Aunt Bea would remark on the high cheekbones in the family. Forget about proof beyond a reasonable doubt, Ms. Law Professor, is that dispositive even by the preponderance of evidence? Yet when Aunt Bea died, Elizabeth herself filled out the death certificate, indicating her aunt’s race as -- white. Claiming to be Native American was very useful when Elizabeth was wangling a position at the University of Pennsylvania and then at Harvard, where she was described as the "first woman of color" on the faculty of Harvard Law.

Run, Warren, run! Perhaps our moribund press would rouse itself from inventing stories about fraternity rape to inquire into your colorful past. It would be delightful to hear you and Hillary swap stories about your struggles with discrimination and penury. You could tell how your parents had to elope because of hostility by your father’s family for your mother’s Indian blood, and Hillary could dilate on the financial struggles she and Bill endured (“we came out of the White House not only dead broke, but in debt… we struggled to piece together the resources for mortgages for houses”). I’ll have to bring popcorn.

Henry Percy is the nom de guerre of a writer in Arizona. He may be reached at saler.50d[at]gmail.com.