Tea Parties targeted for infiltration

By Greg Halvorson

In the coming days, millions of Americans, fed-up with political hubris, sink-hole spending and the imposition of "values" coerced into law, will exercise their right to peaceably assemble. In Washington D.C., the Mall will be packed, as will municipal plazas, capitol steps and civic band-stands from Alaska to Maine. This, the Tea Party, is stirring the Left to fits of neurosis rarely seen beyond clinical settings.

"Crash the Tea Party" is the latest example. Part spy fantasy, part senior prank, its manifesto will doubtlessly undermine the conservative movement and permanently anoint a Democratic Elite.

To wit:

WHO WE ARE: A nationwide network of Democrats, Republicans and Independents who are sick and tired of that loose affiliation of racists, homophobes and morons, who constitute the fake grass-roots movement which calls itself "the Tea Party."

WHAT WE WANT: To dismantle and demolish the Tea Party by any non-violent means necessary.

HOW WE WILL SUCCEED: By infiltrating the Tea Party itself!! In an effort to propagate their pre-existing propensity for paranoia and suspicion, we have already sat quietly in their meetings and observed their rallies

ACTION: Whenever possible, we will act on behalf of the Tea Party in ways which will exaggerate their least appealing qualities (misspelled protest signs, wild claims in TV interviews, etc.) to further distance them from mainstream America and damage the public's opinion of them. We will also use the inside information that we have gained in order to disrupt and derail their plans. Sound like FUN? It is!! If you'd like to join us, just click the word "crash."

Impressive, huh? At last check, the site had 500 registered users, among them: George Washington, Tea Party Texan, Obama Your Mama, and Don't Tread On Me.

Meanwhile, polls say that Tea Partiers have a better understanding of the issues than do congressmen, 52% to 30%. Voters say their views are closer to Tea Party principles than the principles of Congress, 47% to 26%. These same voters believe the Tea Party is more ethical, 46% to 27%.

In other words: BREAK OUT THE SIGNS. Might as well party before we're "derailed."

Greg Halvorson is the founder of Soldiers Without Boots, and hosts The Soldier One Radio Hour on Blog Talk Radio.