How to really be accurate on 'race' on the Census

By James Lewis

Not many people like to fill in the "race" category on the Census, because we know perfectly well that it comes from the Left, which has found another way to slice and dice the American people, to set us against each other, and to empower the Left. Which happens to be exactly what the National Socialists did under you-know-who. You had to carry papers identifying your race, and your parents' and grandparents' race. Under slavery and segregation the Dixiecrat South did the same thing. But the main point, of course, was to separate the blacks and the whites.

Obama does exactly the same thing, because that's how he thinks. The Democrats are pushing through a renewed Hawaiian native kingdom to slice and dice the state of Hawaii some more for the same nefarious reason. It's really evil.

But Mr. Science has an answer. If we're going to play race games let's do it scientifically. For example, if you're black that's meaningless unless you specify Bantu, Hutu/Tutsi, San, or any number of other lineages within Africa. Africa has the biggest human variety in the world. Obama looks totally different from the rest of the Black Caucus; it's because he is. He belongs to a different biological lineage. He's not a Bantu. But most American blacks are mixed-race, of course, like Obama himself.

Likewise, if you're pure Irish, your race is Gaelic. If you're Irish-English, you're Gaelic-Caucasian or something close to that. If you look blond, you're likely to be a Northern European. If you're Jewish but you look like a Russian, you are Semitic-Nordic-Slavic. If you're Jewish and you look like a Spaniard, you're Semitic-Hispanic. If you're Jewish from Yemen, you're probably Semitic-Arabic. If you're a pure cohen, you're Semitic back some 3,000 years, especially if you have heritable diseases like Tay-Sachs. But of course going earlier than that, there are plenty of generations back to the human population bottleneck in North Africa, where humans were reduced to some 5,000 individuals. That's the shared founding population for all of us. (And everybody was Black at that time.)

Of course if you're a "white" woman, you can really get detailed, because the female (mitochondrial) lineage of Europe has been traced to less than a dozen original mothers. You can read about it in Nicholas Wade's nice book, Before the Dawn (Wade being a New York Times science writer, and remarkably good). Or any other number of up-to-date books on human genetics.

If you're Asian, of course, you could be anything from Han Chinese, to Malay, to Inuit.

The point being that if the Left really wants us to explain our human lineage -- the "race" that they used to deny meant anything at all -- let's be very truthful. All human beings are Other. There are no Blacks (much too gross and inaccurate a category, and tainted by a horrific history of abuse of the label). There are no Whites (same thing). If you're Jewish, stand up for whatever mixture you are, because that's precisely how the Nazis operated; and if you forget that past, chances are increasingly looking as if you may have to relive it. If you know your parents came from different lineages, say so. If you're Muslim, you're a member of the Ummah -- races are not recognized.

Be scientific. This is a purely political splittist Census question. If you're not sure, you are 99 percent right to call yourself Other. If ever the American people recover from the race-baiting insanity, we will all call ourselves Other. Because we are.