Adorable Obama Couple Paper Dolls

By Kyle-Anne Shiver

Oh, dear readers, it's almost too good to be true!

The children of the world are to be properly indoctrinated with a positively ingenious new product: The Barack and Michelle Obama Paper Doll & Cut-Out Book, from our friends at St. Martin's Press. Taking his cues from the ingratiating mainstream media, author John Boswell has created a perfect introduction to the false messiah for the children of adoring masses.

Imprint those young minds early and often.

It is described in the press kit as just the thing for "the millions who can't get enough of this remarkable first family."

What? Half the covers of Newsweek for the past 18 months isn't enough? Just try to find a newsstand without the First Couple staring back at you.

Having played with run-of-the-mill paper dolls in my youth, I can attest that these modern paper dolls are of the authentic original genre. The dolls themselves put the First Couple in their very best light, complete with ear-to-ear grins sure to please nascent idolaters on both coasts.

Barack's doll shows none of the haughty arrogance that slips out when he gets away from the teleprompter, and the ears have been politically trimmed to appear not too big for his head. The Michelle doll shows not a single sign of the fierce, Big-Radical-Mama-in-Chief, but her arms are positively the stuff of legend. All in all, perfectly PC-submissive renderings.

No re-education camp for these suave capitalists.

This paper doll book is exactly what any little subject of a banana republic would love to receive from his dear leader in a care package. I especially liked the international flavor, complete with enough paper outfits from around the globe for a kumbayah parade. Citizens of the world can rejoice knowing the USA plays no favorites. I'm sure that every little Obot around the world will be thrilled to have a set of these dolls for her very own.

If it's a commercial success, we can expect further volumes. Perhaps the makers can come up with a costume appropriate to Evan Thomas's characterization of Obama as "sort of God." The creator (that's small "c" creator) can call it a Sea of Galilee outing, and Barry and Michelle can don seamless, white garments with little dove-like wings for their feet and skip across the waters.

The makers of the little paper dolls ought to avoid using the Leader in any "sort of God" situations that might be construed as Islamic in nature, however. The reasons here ought to be obvious; one would so hate for these lovely paper-doll makers to meet untimely, unfortunate deaths. Blaspheming the Christians or Jews should be no problem, as usual.

I was every bit as enthralled with the Obamanoid paper dolls as anyone with half a brain would be.