The Chicago Way is Piracy, Too

By Richard Henry Lee

While they don’t use grappling hooks to board merchant ships, the Chicago Way pirates do have their hooks in the merchants, nevertheless.

The Chicago Way is a political system run by kleptocrats who demand tribute from merchants whenever the merchants want to do something. If they want to get a building permit or win a lucrative contract at O’Hare Airport, they must pay tribute.

It is a system that has advanced far beyond the wildest dreams of the less fortunate Somali pirates. While the Somalis make a few million a year, the Chicago pirates make many times more. Plus the Chicago pirates drive around in expensive cars, often with drivers, and dine at fine restaurants.

The Chicago Way piracy does have its benefits for the merchants. They know which pirate to pay and how much will be charged. And in some ways, the Chicago Way is superior to some other political systems, as in California, where the interminable red tape and delay will often cost many times more than the Chicago pirates charge.

But now we have a Washington DC branch of the Chicago Way pirates, and that is the troubling part. The DC branch is still exacting tribute, but they have their hands on the US Treasury as well. That means they can print all the money they want. This will ultimately lead to inflation and the devaluation of the ransoms paid. This is a disservice to pirates everywhere. Aaargh!