Once Upon a (Republican) Time

How does the Republican Party pick its candidates? Settle back my dear friends, I'll tell you a true story.

Once open a time, three Republicans were finalists for a judgeship in a rural area of a rural state. One had applied for the judgeship six times before. He had never been selected.

The other two candidates were both well-qualified applicants. One was a competent lawyer. He had applied twice before. The other was a brilliant lawyer. The brilliant lawyer would have made an outstanding jurist. But this was his first application.

The committee assigned to pick the judge was made up of Republicans ... all Republicans. For this, I remind you, was a rural community in a rural state.

The Republicans on the committee thought and thought about which applicant to pick for the judgeship. Can you guess which one they chose?

Of course you can! They picked the person who had applied six times before. Can you guess why? Certainly you can! They were Republicans. They knew the applicant that had applied six other times (and been found wanting each time) had finally "paid his dues." They knew that it "was his turn."

How did they know he had paid his dues and that it was now his turn? They had paid their dues and were taking their turn.

That, dear readers, is how the Republican Party works. It worked for Bob Dole. It worked for John McCain.

(Many, many very important Republicans will tell you that Sarah Palin should never have been nominated for vice-president. These same people will tell you that McCain's defeat was Sarah Palin's fault. Why? Say it together: It was not her turn. Or you can say it like they do: "She didn't have enough experience.")

When asked if he would ever run again for the judgeship, the brilliant lawyer, the most qualified person for the job, was overheard to say, "Are you kidding?"

Sleep well, Republicans, knowing that you are in incompetent hands -- that the best and brightest do not wait in line (ask President Obama) -- and that you will not live happily ever after.

Larrey Anderson is a writer, a philosopher, and submissions editor for American Thinker.
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