If a man says he’s Napoleon Bonaparte, he needs help, but if he says he’s a woman he’s perfectly sane and if anyone refuses to go along with him he’s being oppressed.

If 97% of scientists say that man made global warming is real anyone who disagrees should be put in prison. When 100% of scientists say that human life begins at conception it has nothing to do with abortion.

If Russia publishes true facts about Hillary it’s foreign interference in our election. If illegals, i.e. foreigners, vote in our election it’s a good thing.

Clubbing a baby seal to death is evil. Dismembering an unborn human girl without anesthetic is a societal good.

Getting water to California’s central valley farmers isn’t as important as protecting the delta smelt. It’s okay if wind turbines kill 4200 bald eagles each year.

Saying all lives matter is racist. Saying only black lives matter is not.

Russia revealing secrets about Hillary is evil. Hillary putting highly classified data on an insecure server is fine.

Exposing Hillary’s secrets is a foreign coup. The NYT's revealing highly classified anti-terror programs is heroic.

WikiLeaks is a source for truth justice and the American way if it’s exposing critical national security programs that have nothing to do with domestic surveillance. WikiLeaks is an agent of fascism if it reveals anything that Hillary wants hidden.

Electoral college electors ignoring how the people voted in their state is true democracy.

Fidel Castro, who wore military attire and got his power through a military campaign he led, is a beacon of freedom and truth. Retired American generals are unfit to serve in government.

It was racist to say that Obama’s lack of experience made him a poor candidate for president. Saying that Ben Carson doesn’t have the experience necessary to run HUD is a patriot’s duty.

Native Americans not expressing their concern at any of the 389 meetings the Army Corp of Engineers had with Native American Tribes in no way creates suspicion about why they’re protesting now.

Honest citizens who own guns are evil. Criminals who commit crimes while in possession of a gun should get shorter sentences than they do now.

92% of the victims of black criminals are black. Wanting to keep all criminals in jail longer is racist.

Any man who claims to feel he’s a woman at any given moment can use the women’s bathroom. 

Bill Clinton’s sexually harassing and possible raping women is irrelevant to his ability to be president. Trump’s apparently consensual immorality completely disqualifies him from being president.

Ignoring the thousands of blacks shot in Democrat run cities is not racist. Not being outraged when a cop shoots a black man in self-defense is racist.

Not caring that black women are 5 times as likely to abort their unborn baby than white women is not racist. Not wanting to fund abortion thereby protecting black lives is racist.

Opposing school competition in our inner cities is patriotic. Wanting to give black kids a chance to excel is racist because it hurts the teachers unions.

That NASA showed that the earth’s temperature was flat for 18 years and then suddenly reprocessed the data and found that the temperature was rising -- in contradiction to the satellite data -- raises no suspicions about the quality of the data.

The housing crisis was Bush’s fault even though Bush had called for reform of Frannie and Freddie two years earlier and was rebuffed by the Democratic Congress.

ISIS is Bush’s fault even though it was Obama who withdrew all U.S. forces from Iraq and didn’t force the Shia president of Iraq to treat the Sunni Iraqis fairly.

The deficit of 2009 is all Bush’s fault even though it includes the $900,000,000 slush-money-for-my-friends “stimulus” package that Obama created.

Israel is our enemy because it doesn’t treat the Palestinians, who openly proclaim they want to commit genocide against Jews, perfectly. Iran is our friend even though they persecute all religious minorities in Iran.

It’s illegal to compel a gay baker to bake a cake with a pro-marriage message. It’s illegal for a Christian baker to be willing to serve gays but not be willing to bake a wedding cake for them.

Wanting to raise the tax rate of other people is charitable. People who want to keep the money they work for are selfish.

Government workers are smarter and better than regular Americans so it’s reasonable that they get paid more, have better benefits, and never ever get fired.

It’s great that the MSM declared open war on Trump but Fox News is evil for questioning Obama.

Anything that goes against the liberal narrative is malevolent “fake news”. Any news that comes from the MSM and has to be retracted is an honest mistake that in no way affects their credibility.

Giving oil companies the same tax breaks that all industries get is subsidizing them. Giving billions to companies that fail and are owned by Obama’s “green” energy cronies is “investing” in America.

A Supreme Court justice who cites foreign laws is a patriot. A Supreme Court justice who cites the Constitution is an extremist.

There’s nothing undemocratic in the Supreme Court overthrowing the laws of almost all states -- abortion and gay marriage. A later Supreme Court reversing those decisions would be treason.

Women are just as capable as men in every way and they are better because they are more reasonable and less violent. We need easier criteria for women who want to be fire fighters, Army Rangers, and cops because not doing so is sexist.

Women are oppressed in education even though more women than men are getting college degrees.

A woman in a job in an air-conditioned office should make as much as a man who works in the sewers, otherwise the system is sexist.

You can read more of tom’s rants at his blog, Conversations about the obvious and feel free to follow him on Twitter