Once upon a time, I dated an angry man.  The list of sins that ignited his rage was random.  One that stands out is slamming his car door too hard. His rage would flare from tension to full Clockwork Orange violence in seconds. And I don’t mean snarky remarks. I mean throwing suitcases.

What never made sense about Angry Man’s rage was I could never trace the root of it.  He was swimming in cash, a sensational job, and the constitution of a bull.

I finally escaped Angry Man.

But, for the past eight years, I have watched white America and its dynamic with the angry black person. It was that old dangerous dance: the person who is addicted to anger and the victim who tap-dances and begs for the bully to be nice.

 Unchecked rage often ends in homicide. On July 7, 2016, in Dallas, it did. 

How did this happen?

Inexplicably, President Obama has become America’s black abusive boyfriend.  He seduced with an aloof charm, quick wit, and a Spockish calm.  But like all ragaholics, we did not know what was beneath that cultivated air of cool.  Obama had rage.

He has stoked the fires of black Americans’ rage, aided by acolyte Eric Holder, with the fervor of a man chased by a lynch mob pre Civil War.

From all accounts, both biased and neutral, the source of Obama’s black rage is as mystical as Kardashian modesty.  Obama has not had a path strewn with rose petals: he had a path strewn with platinum petals, emeralds and Hermes Birkins. Obama was a man with a work history that would not land him a position as an assistant state public defender in today’s economy. With that CV, he became the President of the largest budget and military in the world.  And the reason he won the job, largely, was due to being black.

What is making our black boyfriend so angry? We not only gave him a place at the table, we gave him the table, the Kohler kitchen and a Nate Berkus styled mansion.

Obama is clever, crafty and his delivery of a joke outstanding. His reasonable, didactic manner is resassuring.

But, his pathological compulsion to frame black Americans as quivering citizens facing a virtual holocaust from cops is obsessive, and false.

 And it has now resulted in murder. But this was easy to predict, especially for anyone schooled in dealing with entitled, enraged bullies. 

Obama, rarely angry, showed indignation when a giant black thug lunged at a petite shopkeeper, after he stole some blunt rolling papers, disobeyed police commands, and was then shot after reaching for the cop’s gun inside a patrol car.

Conversely, Obama was yucking it up on the golf course minutes after discussing American journalist James Foley, who had his head hacked off with a dull blade by ISIS sub humans.

Other black boyfriends were watching. And when detached Obama decided now he would show his black man cojones, it was the wink to other angry blacks to go forth and do harm.  Looting stores (stupidly, usually black business), white knock out games, and vitriol spewed out by racists like Michael Eric Dyson became not only okay, but also the only script allowed.

Do we whites hate blacks?  Do our angry black boyfriends have a genuine fear of the mousey white Americans, who apologize, grovel, and lose their job at the hands of other whites, if they slightly offend the sensibilities of these terrorized black Americans?

Let’s follow the money. This is the country that rewards single black (and other) mothers, who reproduce with many different partners and their offspring with the following non-exclusive list of wonderful free goodies:

Prenatal care, medical care, prescriptions, mental health care, food, free or reduced housing, daycare, cell phones, tuition, greatly reduced admissions criteria for entry in college based on race, textbooks books, tutoring and specific job placement assistance upon graduating, if they go to and finish college.

If blacks graduate, local, state and federal employers, as well as international corporations set aside jobs, well paying ones, just for blacks. Their competence, and abilities are a secondary consideration.  It’s Sweden in America for our angry blacks.   

Is this the source of their outrage?

 No. This cradle to grave largess is not acknowledged by enraged blacks or bootlicking white apologists. The party line for rage is their treatment by the police. They represent, with illiterate rhetoric, that police brutality against them has made this country more akin to the Congo than Canada.

More whites are killed by law enforcement than blacks are.  Angry blacks kill other angry blacks, more than all other races combined.  These facts have been cited over and over. No one, especially breathless pundits, minds these facts.

I have a big secret to tell all the angry blacks that demonize cops: Whites are afraid of cops. I am leery of cops.  This is why I do not make sudden moments around armed men who can legally shoot me, or tell them to fuck off, or act furtive in my pockets when detained.

Critically, if my boyfriend were bleeding from a gunshot wound, I would apply pressure to his wound and render aid, not calmly video his death so I could attain celebrity status.

Anger is addictive.  America is the abused spouse, nervously watching her black boyfriend pace, punch the wall, and be angry. Because being perpetually pissed off around weak people gets to be quite fun. Consequences never come, and others learn to let you have your way, or else. Untouchable entitlement is thrilling.

What will America, the bruised girlfriend, do with her angry black boyfriend? Will she get up and “restructure his function” or quiver in the corner, and lose the freedom that made her believe she had value in the world?

Tiffany Kendal Koogler is an attorney who previously worked for the Department of Defense.  She lives in North Carolina with her dogs.