Satire

Dear Family,

I am writing to inform you of truly great news.  I know how sad and worried you all were when I was convicted of armed robbery and sentenced to two years in prison.  As it turns out, this was the best thing that has ever happened to me.  My time in prison brought me into contact with an outstanding group of people and ideology that I didn't know much about before my time behind bars.  They have taught me discipline of both mind and body, are very insistent about dietary rules, and have taught me all about how the world should work, and how utterly broken and unfair our current system in the United States is, and have showed me the truth of how the Jews are actually controlling everything.  Upon my release next week, I am going to join with these people and we are going to change the world.  Someday soon our flag will fly over the White House and over the entire United States, and then there will truly be equality, fairness, and plenty for all.

Yes, that's right, I have become a Neo-Nazi.

Now, I know what you must be thinking, but I want to assure you that I'm not going to be that kind of Neo-Nazi.  I am going to be a true, pure, peaceful Neo-Nazi.  I'm not actually going to kill anybody.  That's not the kind of Neo-Nazi I am going to be.  I am going to be in what is called the Allgemeine-SS.  This is the branch of the SS that does bureaucratic party work, and eventually I will do governmental administrative work, once we take over.  Of course, I will be a default reservist in the Waffen-SS as part of my service, but I don't anticipate seeing actual combat, or having to work as a guard in a re-education camp, or personally carry out executions.  Like I said, I'm not that kind of Neo-Nazi.  It really is important to me that you understand that.

We are going to install a system of governance whereby the charging of interest is a crime, and we are going to eliminate all investing and market speculation.  We are also going to demand nationalized free healthcare and pensions, and we are going to nationalize all private trusts and savings.  Hoarding money is a crime against humanity.  Wealth should be spread around and shared.  I'm sure you agree with this!

We are also going to abolish the current military in the United States and replace it with a civilian national security force.  Like the current, Jew-infested military, this new people's military called the "Wehrmacht" will have four branches: Heer, Kreigsmarine, Luftwaffe, and Waffen-SS.  There will also be intelligence services and personal protection units for the leaders of the Party, but like I told you, I'm not going to be that kind of Neo-Nazi.   

In doing all of these things, we are going to rebuild the economy, stop inflation, and heck, we're even going to make Amtrak trains run on time!  There is no aspect of life that we won't control and perfect.  And this is just the beginning!  After we take over the United States, it is our plan to eventually take over the entire world so that all people everywhere can benefit from our perfected way of life.  This will be called the Ultimate Reich and it will last forever. 

But please understand, we will only kill the people who force us to kill them by stubbornly refusing to join with us voluntarily.  After reading my letter, I'm sure that you can agree that anyone who wouldn't want to join with us must be a mental defective and thus a danger to society.  These people will be discreetly eliminated, and their remains disposed of in an environmentally friendly manner.  But I won't be the person actually doing this.  I am going to have an office job, because I am not that kind of Neo-Nazi.

Well, I had better sign off.  My cellmate, boyfriend, and Scharfuhrer (that means squad leader) Ernst is waiting for me in our bunk.  I can't wait for you to meet him.  I don't know what I ever saw in women.  They are so weak and physically unclean.  Ernst also has a nephew, Hansel, who is in the Young Neo-Nazi youth brigade that he has promised I can have all for myself when we get out in a few weeks.  Ernst says the first thing we are going to do is set up Young Neo-Nazi youth brigades all over the country. 

I will expect your full and complete support, including generous financial support, as I begin my new life as a Neo-Nazi, and hope that you will not fall for all of the hateful, bigoted, lying propaganda about Neo-Nazism.  Remember, that is all a product of the Jewish-controlled media.  The number of Neo-Nazis who are actually, personally violent is relatively small, and besides, I am not that kind of Neo-Nazi.

Your son,

Rudolf
(formerly Scott)

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The point of this piece is to highlight the absurdity of the false concepts of "moderate Islam" and "extremist Islam."  There is no more "moderate Islam" than there is "moderate Nazism."  This nomenclature is willfully manipulative propaganda and must be called out and corrected whenever and wherever it is used. 

"There is no moderate or immoderate Islam.  Islam is Islam and that's it."
- Recep Tayyip Erdogan, Prime Minister of Turkey

Ann Barnhardt is a livestock and grain commodity broker and marketing consultant, American patriot, traditional Catholic, and unwitting counter-revolutionary blogger.  She can be reached through her business at www.barnhardt.biz.